I just wanted to write something for those girls looking for, or hoping for love.
My eldest sister told me something a few years ago that stuck with me as a true fact about love. Marriage is hard work, dating shouldn't be. If you find someone that you click with, someone you wish to date, dating is usually fun and easy. The days fly by, you call or text them everyday, can't wait to spend another moment together. You fall in love, so fully, it's a thrilling ride.
Then you get married, and life happens and that infatuation starts to fade. Some people give up then, get divorced, move on to the next thrilling relationship. But it doesn't have to be that way, those people who give up and try again and again, are missing out on something spectacular. Something where you get to know your partner like no one else.
A love that's deeper, stronger, more sure. A love where you know you are loved, no matter what, no matter how you look or what's going on, a love where you know that other person has your back, always. A love where you can share anything, even your darkest secrets. A love where you can fight and pout and act crazy for a moment, and you know the other still knows and loves you for you. My mother and father have been married for over 4 decades now, and my mother told me that love changes, but it grows. After 40 years, she loves my dad in a different way than they day they got married, and it's a deeper love, a stronger and truer love.
But it's like so many other things worth having, it's not always easy. When looking for someone to date, it's not bad to have a list of things you are looking for or need in a person to weed out those who won't be compatible with you. But after you are married, barring a small list of the most important things and human decency, throw your ideas away!
Perhaps similar religious views are important, and wanting to have kids. It's important that he doesn't abuse you or your kids in any way, that he doesn't cheat, that he's honest, but in truth the things we need are often a smaller list than we want to believe. And if he loves us and we talk to him about our wants and are willing to give for him as well as ask for ourselves, most things can be worked out.
Remember, you fell in love with him for a reason. That person, in most cases, is still there somewhere. Life is hard, don't let it tear apart a good thing. Some days you might not even like him, but that doesn't mean you have to quit loving him. Just give him a good pout from across the room until he comes and talks to you (or whatever works in your relationship). Then tomorrow, buy him a new tool, or his favorite chocolate bar, or pick up his favorite coffee drink. And remember all the losers out there you thought you loved at some point, and just how special this one really is to you. Don't give that up easily.
When you work things out and are on the same page, love is wonderful, marriage is wonderful. When I look back at dating versus my marriage now, even though it wasn't always easy, I wouldn't go back to dating over what I have. We aren't, as my mother puts it, 'just two ships passing in the night,' but we are building a life together.
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Mark 10:9 (KJV)
~ G.G. Marshall
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