‘Staring at them, blaring music, or talking obnoxiously loud! It's a degenerated culture without common courtesy for their peers nor respect for the old,’ Mr. Humbol growled angrily to himself as he observed the packed subway car. It wasn't only the young teenagers! He saw smart looking professional men and sophisticated women all yammering away, tapping or otherwise focused on some electronic device! The days of a friendly smile and polite conversation with those about you were gone it seemed! He didn't like it! These small televisions or personal computing devices should be banned!
Mrs. Milford patted down her white curls as she settled down on her subway seat next to some grumpy gentleman. She pulled out the iPad her grandson had gotten her after she had complained about her difficulty reading things on her phone. He had taught her a fun new game where you could build a city however you liked at your own pace. She hummed as she started to build a hotel.
Mr. Humbol growled inwardly. He knew he could complain and fuss but no one was going to listen to a crazy old fart. Ignoring the signs he pulled out a large cigar, lit it, and puffed the smoke into the air. He hid his smile at the annoyed glances cast his way, the coughs, and hand waving.
Mrs Milford wrinkled her nose as the gentleman next to her lit a cigarette. ‘Idiot.’ "Sir," she said calmly, "You aren’t supposed to smoke on public transportation."
Mr. Humbol looked over feigning concern. "Why? Does it bother you?" And took another drag on the smoldering cigar
"I’m pretty sure it’s bothering almost everyone and it’s illegal." She gave him a smoldering glare. "Not that I don’t enjoy a good Brazilian cigar myself on occasion but I do it at the proper time and place. This, sir, is not the proper place."
The cranky old man chuckled slightly. "Well, everyone else is bothering me, the loud talking into their phones, the obnoxious music, always texting or watching their little devices. Why is my smoking illegal? Well, because after years of research people have banned it as undesirable. Well it's no different with iPhones, iPads, whatever ya call its, in fact early studies indicate all this wireless stuff could be effecting people's brains! My brains! So you, ma'am, are degrading my brain with your little device! Everyone here is! But do I get a say in that? No! Because everyone's too ignorant to realize this is bad for society and a public health risk!" The old man sank back into his seat with a harrumph, finally happy to have had his say.
Mrs. Milford sniggered and shook her head at him. "They may cause brain issues if you use the device, which hasn’t been proven but I’m pretty sure the negative effects don’t fly through the air and latch unto innocent bystanders. Your smoking on the other hand," she pointed an accusing finger at the man's cigar, "does fly through the air and has been proven to do more damage to innocent bystanders than you even. So put it out before I put it out for you," she said coldly.
Mr. Humbol, who had been puffing away grouchily, paused mid-puff and looked over at her. Something close to admiration stirred inside. ‘By Jove, she looks like she really would snuff out my own cigar!’ he thought. Shrugging he began to comply then paused, looking back at the old woman with a wily glint in his eyes. "I'll do that on the condition that we can debate the social harm of these electronic devices. Do you agree?"
Mrs. Milford narrowed her eyes. Was he asking her out? Hm. She eyed his cigar and then him again. "Where?"
Mr. Humbol put out the cigar. "Why, right here and now, let's debate the social damage these," he stuttered, looking at the device in her lap with disdain. "These entertainment devices are doing to our culture."
Mrs. Milford closed her iPad slowly. "Okay then," she turned more toward the gentleman, "enlighten me."
The old man sat back with a satisfied expression. "Used to be you went out in public and you met people, like here." He waved at the occupants of the speeding subway car. "Used to be you would converse, maybe strike up a conversations, such as the one we're having, but without such extreme measures to initiate it, right? Nowadays everyone is into their own world, what's happening on their Facebook or phone conversation, are they even interacting with society anymore? These devices look to me like they have distanced people from real life meetings!"
"Maybe the amount of social interaction hasn’t necessarily changed but the way we do it and who we do it with has. For instance," Mrs. Milford leaned back and clasped her hands together, "with social media it’s way easier to keep in touch with my grandkids and their lives, and teenagers being communicative has always been an issue. So maybe I spend more time interacting with my friends and family instead of with strangers. Is that really so bad?"
Mr. Humbol harrumphed. He was a bachelor without any real close family. However, as a bachelor he'd learned to enjoy the chance meetings in cafés. "Understandable, however life is so full of colorful, wonderful people. If you are always focused in on the little group you know through a digital device, you miss the opportunity to meet people and hear their stories." He contended.
Mrs. Milford nodded her head slightly. "You are right in that way, but some stories people are better off without. I’m not sure you can justifiably say it’s degrading social life when it’s simply altering it. Beside, not everyone uses them so some grumpy old man like you can still meet other grumpy old men like you." She raised an eyebrow slightly.
Mr. Humbol's face creased into a ferocious scowl that would have sent a grandson running. "See! You've just proved my point, madam. As a member of the degenerated society your social outlet is through that device," he jabbed a finger at the woman's iPad. "And like everyone else here with their phones and ithingys you're manners and social interaction is woefully lacking and it's because you are used to interacting digitally! Well, here's what I have to say to your name calling!" Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the snuffed out charoot and relit it, disappearing into a cloud of smoke, not a cackling witch, but a grumpy old fart.
Mrs. Milford smirked. As if social media was the reason for her tartness. As if.
~ G.G. Marshall & J. Lindsey Marshall
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